My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
