i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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