ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
