its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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