Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize