I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
