Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
