I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
