were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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