no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
