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oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
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