Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.