You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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