now i know why i became what i already was.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
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He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.