So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
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we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I need water and some morals
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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