i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
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we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT