mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
