I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
