you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
