Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm bleeding and have questions
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
