My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
