your thong is hanging out like whoa
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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