sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The adults are the big ones right?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
