You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
