are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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