Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
