Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize