it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
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that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
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Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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