I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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