Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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