My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
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I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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