i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
