I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
