wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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