OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so explain again why im purple
no
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
