The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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