I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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