Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
