Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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