Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
