so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
