I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish you could order shots online.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize