I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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