Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
