there's paper in my vomit.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
