It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize