How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize