He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Enjoy the penises
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize