I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize