If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it's like heaven, but drunker
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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