I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
