I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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