I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
