I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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