Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
