your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
