I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
