David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
