two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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