So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
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Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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