Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize