I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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