You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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