He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
